Two Cents Worth – I ate 48 chicken nuggets and I’m not proud of myself

Two Cents Column

Two Cents Column

They said it wasn’t an eating competition. But let’s be honest, it was always going to become one.

The Chick-Fil-A out by SWIC hosted an all you can eat chicken nugget event on Saturday. I do love me some nuggets and the opportunity to find out exactly how many I could consume did intrigue me. So Laura and Max accompanied me as I began my quest for chicken glory in a booth tucked away near the back by the entrance to the play place.

The first box went really easy. The boxes only contained eight nuggets and seemed to empty out pretty quickly. They also provided us all you can eat waffle fries, but lets be honest, fries are just filler.

The second and third boxes went by without any real issue as well. By the fourth box, my tummy seemed to say “Dude, I’m not sure what’s going on up there, but you’re beginning to hit capacity.” But the guy at the door told me the standing record was ten boxes and that eleven takes the title. I had to keep going.

Maxwell wore his Chick-Fil-A shirt to cheer me on.

Maxwell wore his Chick-Fil-A shirt to cheer me on.

The other important note about box four was that was the moment the financials swung in my favor. I was told that in order for me to break even on my $15.99 purchase price, I needed to eat at least three boxes. The fourth box was when I became money ahead. Also, I was told the average diner was eating four boxes, so I had to push past the average.

As I began the fifth box, I noticed how much slower I was eating. It just wasn’t as easy as it was just mere minutes earlier. It was around this time that I realized how hard achieving the record would be and that I would probably be tapping out before box eleven.

During this time I had a very nice employee continue to swing by the table to ask if I needed a refresh on my beverage. I very much appreciated his attentiveness as I needed all the iced tea I could get to wash the chicken down. His efforts were duly noted.

Proof of my gluttony.

Proof of my gluttony.

Finally, the gentleman with the nugget tray came by again and asked if I wanted another box. I agreed to box number six before I actually thought about it. Once it was in front of me, it no longer made any sense at all. But I’m not one to waste good chicken nuggets, so I had to power onward. I have to admit that I’m happy to report that while I ate more than I should have, I never ate enough to cause an uncontrollable, food-induced sweat.

I finally called it quits after 48 chicken nuggets and only one round of waffle fries in the beginning. As I was quitting, some members of the OTHS football team entered the restaurant, so I knew that the ten box record was going to go down at some point. I was not destined to become the nugget champion. This was a game for the young.

I’m not proud of myself. Some may think its because I ate 48 chicken nuggets, way more than any person should ever eat in one sitting. But you should know me better than that. I’m not proud of myself because I never truly was in the race, I only thought I was. It’s sad to learn one’s limitations in such a direct way.