I’m pretty convinced that one of my cats is out to get me. Oh, its not one specific thing that makes me think that it’s trying to do me in, but rather a collection of little incidents that have me sure that it’s attempting to harm me.
It all started earlier this week when I woke up one morning. After turning off the alarm clock I reached for my glasses. I’m pretty much blind as a bat without my glasses and depend on them quite a bit. This specific morning I found that they were missing. I tried to look around for them as best I could, awkwardly patting around the bed and nightstand for them, but they just weren’t there. This meant my only real option was to immediately begin getting ready for the day and put in my contacts, instead of my normal routine of slowly waking up and eventually hitting the shower.
After getting my contacts put in I went back to try and find my glasses. I discovered that they’d been knocked onto the floor and pulled under the bed. And not just a bit under the bed, but rather a significant distance to about the middle of my mattress.
Now at this point I knew it was one of the cats, but which one?
Later in the week, as I was preparing to leave the house, I grabbed my shoes. Anyone who knows me knows I wear slip on loafer shoes, or boat shoes as my wife likes to mock them. For whatever reason I opted to pick them up and put them on in another location instead of just slipping my foot in right then and there. I’m so glad I did. As soon as I picked them up I heard something very small rattle inside one shoe. I thought maybe it was a rock or something. Turns out it was a thumbtack off of a bulletin board in my office. One of the cats had decided to try and stab my foot with it.
Again, I knew it was one of the cats, but which one?
The most recent incident came just today. I went to feed the cats and the dog their dinner. We have wood floors in the house. As I walked by the animal dishes on the way to the food containers, I slipped and nearly fell on some water. One of the animals had knocked over the water dish and left a puddle on the wood floor.
Still not sure who it was, but by now I’m convinced the critters have it in for me.
Maybe I’m paranoid, but then again maybe I’m not. All I know is that I’m checking my shoes and keeping one eye open around my house. It’s not safe anymore.